After the match with Pup, I know I did a handful of repeat matches with friends. I met Larry in Nashville at some point between 2003 and 2005, and I wrestled Chris when I was in his city in October 2004 and April 2005. In July 2005, I went on a little wrestling tour and had three matches within the space of a few days.

The first was in a motel room in Lexington, Kentucky. I wrestled a man named C----. At roughly 270 pounds, he was difficult to move around, and I either strained or pinched something in my right shoulder. (As I write this, I have the same feeling in my left shoulder from a great match I had yesterday.) C---- really looked like an oldtime wrestler--broad shoulders chest, big belly, blue speedos. He was strong too, especially in his legs. But he wasn't very experienced or very creative in his wrestling, and I think I could have taken every fall from him if I'd wanted to. Although seemingly in trouble early on in the first two falls, I ended up winning both by submission. C---- wasn't in very good shape and became winded easily, so we spent a lot of time between falls just sitting on opposite sides of our "mat" and talking about wrestling, family, life in general. We traded some holds, and I showed him some head scissors variations I like. After a long talk-break, we did two more falls before he had to leave. In the first of these, I let him get me in a head scissors to see what he would do with it. He gave good squeeze, added an arm bar, stretched me out pretty well and got my submission. The final fall I won with a similar combination.

We are torn between flesh and spirit, between desires for dominance and submission, between fears of intimacy and fears of distance . . .